It is with the question of slavery that Burton's movie becomes more interesting. With her fancy modern ways, Ari believes chimps and humans can be equal and helps him and his new friends to freedom. Daena is there to provide some implied love-interest for Leo, and to reassure us that there is no question of any gross inter-species funny business between him and the sexy young female chimp Ari, played by Helena Bonham Carter. With him in the cage are the long-haired, bearded Karubi (Kris Kristofferson) and his daughter Daena, played by the winsome Estella Warren, who with her pert, placid face and infinitesimal moustache somehow looks more simian than anyone else in the entire film. Leo's own space pod lands on an alien planet, where he is captured by apes on horseback and with a bunch of loincloth-wearing homo sapiens sold into slavery in the nearest city.
No, this just means training them to pilot spacecraft into tricky territory - having apparently forgotten that unmanned craft replaced monkey pilots shortly after the era of Buzz Aldrin. Nothing to do with cigarettes, cosmetics or connecting their heads up to the mains, thankfully, and this film only becomes aware of animal-rights issues later, when apes get the upper hand. His job is to assist a scientist who is doing experiments on chimps. Mark Wahlberg, his face unfortunately set in that habitual slack-mouthed expression of distrust and discontent, is Captain Leo Davidson, a hunky USAF space pilot. Who would have thought that in a modern movie we would need to see the year-numbers spinning round on the spaceship dashboard, like a petrol pump or something from HG Wells, to tell the stoopid audience that we are going forward in time - or that we would need to give that away so early in the plot anyway? And as for the apecraft itself: who would also have thought that for all the publicity about the advanced ape make-up, and actors' solemn study of ape movement, etc, we would end up with primates who look like a pompous, cheesier version of King Louie of the Apes in Disney's Jungle Book? Burton attempts to match it with a new statue/twist ending, evidently derived from Pierre Boulle's novel, which is laughable, anti-climactic, and almost scandalously nonsensical.Įverything here is just that bit less sophisticated: the acting is outrageous and the plot lacks opposable thumbs. Where most movies run out of ideas well before the finish, this ended with a surreal image of unexampled power and narrative daring: Heston raging at the ruined Statue of Liberty on the post-apocalyptic beach. The Charlton Heston movie was a brilliant Swiftian satire: sly, disturbing, subversive. And in keeping with the anti-Darwinian premise, it is a hilarious regression from the original, a lower order of being.
#TIM BURTON PLANET OF THE APES FULL MOVIE SERIES#
It is a claim that passes lightly over the existing parade of dud sequels from the early 1970s: Beneath, Escape From, Conquest Of and Battle For, and also the later, dire TV series which more or less imprisoned poor old Roddy McDowall in his monkey suit.īut his re-imagining is a dumbed-down, screeching, gibbering, banana-peeling, PG Tips-drinking festival of nonsense.
Director Tim Burton, here moving heavily into the blockbuster mainstream, has been quick to tell us that this is a "re-imagining", not a remake, and still less a sequel to Franklin J Schaffner's 1968 screen classic.
I t's time once again to crash-land on that mad, bad, counter-evolutionary planet where a bunch of hairy, counter-jumping apes lord it over us humans.
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